"Lovely Writing But...": The Art of Pared-Down Prose
How to identify and eliminate overwriting
This is a post about improving your writing by eliminating show-off sentences. If you’ve ever been told by an agent that your writing “lacks urgency” or “lovely writing but…”, then this post is for you. If you are a paid subscriber, I recommend 5 Writing Truths That Transcend Genre. If you are not a paid subscriber, you can access the full archives with a 7-day free trial.
During my first year as a graduate student in creative writing, I noticed that my professors had a pet peeve: overwritten, overwrought stories. In a room of a dozen writers, I was often the guiltiest party1. I would write things like, “The room smelled of smoke and sadness.”
I mean, seriously? Smoke: yes. Sadness: no. Unless sadness is a cologne marketed by Timothee Chalamet.
To identify overwriting in your work, look for sentences and paragraphs that are designed more to impress or to "sound good" than to convey meaning.
Overwriting is rarely intentional. It happens when a writer is so enamored with the sound of a sentence that the writer forgets the reader. It also happens when the writer is attempting a "literary" style. In my MFA days, many of us erroneously equated "literary" with painfully slow character development and an abundance of minor details and linguistic flourishes.